Sitting on the Fence

Seems like Jamie and I are often "in limbo" these days -- not knowing what results will be, and where we will go from here. Our current perch on the fence:

- The CTO of Jamie's company meets with his boss tomorrow to decide whether he will be hired full-time or not. Everyone in his department has signed off to approve, but he still needs the official decision, which depends a lot on the company's financial status. So nothing is set in stone yet.
- I find out in the next few days the score on my grant that I submitted in December. The score will decide the likelihood of my funding, which will influence whether I will need to revise and resubmit or not, as well as a host of decisions about my return to research after Ben's birth.
- I take a test this afternoon at the doctor's (Fetal Fibronectin Test) that will show how likely I am to *not* go into labor the next two weeks. We still want more time in utero for our Benjamin, despite his 32 weeks!
- We are thinking of moving and have put in an application for a duplex 2-bedroom. Still no word from the landlord about the situation.

What I am realizing after a late-night discussion with Jamie is how much I allow my hope in the future to be determined by the outcome of these "fence" situations. I am oriented toward situations to encourage me or discourage me. How I wish I could remember that "the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love" (Ps. 147:11.)